growth, ethics & power dynamics

The Slow Sex Experience is both an individual and a community experience.

With the generous and abundant support of trusted community members, we’ve been exploring for several years what a safe space means to us within our community. Please carefully read our ethical guidelines below.

From own experiences, we know how much of our insecurities and even past traumas can be triggered in sex positive spaces and how easily shadows can show and play out - not just among the participants. We allow ourselves and others to make mistakes knowing that learning and personal growth is ongoing. Myself (Katjalisa) as main facilitator as well as my supporting hands are continuously doing our ‘homework’ meaning we actively seek advice from other experts, we are willing to listen and to work with the (critical) feedback we are receiving from dear friends, participants, colleagues and everyone that cares about the spaces we create. Safety is an individual experience. As facilitator I set the frame and I provide some of the many tools to empower us as a group to co-create a space in which we all feel safe, included, respected and supported. It’s in my best interest to guide you and the group in such a way that you will feel nourished, aligned and empowered afterwards. My intention is to create spaces in which we experience healing intimacy with ourselves and in respectful interaction with each other. My aim is that we, individually and collectively, create new positive body memories in order to heal wounded parts in ourselves and through that in society. Consent & Boundary work is part of the basics we practice at every event. No matter how experienced (you think) you are, there is always work to do, for everyone of us.

Here are some basic guidelines of CONFIDENTIALITY that we ask everyone that joins our events to fully respect and some ETHICS we want to embody in the space:

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    everything that is being shared in the space stays in the space. That means: You can share with your friends about YOUR own experience as much as you want as long as you don't mention the name of the other people that were present unless asked for permission. For example, some of us may have kids at the same school or work in a similar field…
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    we accept, respect and honor our own 'no' and that of the other
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    space holders of an event are actively participating in the exercises if the numbers are uneven
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    facilitators and space holders of an event are open for intimate and sensual interactions with participants during the free flow/love jam that follows after all events (except the Intro). That means: massage exchange, dance, cuddles, energetic exercises, sensual playfulness
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    facilitators and space holders of an event are only engaging in sexual interactions with participants during the free flow/love jam if there has been a sexual connection established prior to the event
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    during the free flow/love jam the space will be energetically held by at least one of us (depending on the group size there will be more energetic space holders)
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    each one of us is accountable for their own actions & interactions. If needed we will address inappropriate, discriminating, disrespectful behaviour on the spot in order to protect the group space

AFTER CARE is crucial for us. Because we truly CARE ABOUT YOU and OUR COMMUNITY!

After every event we are here to listen to you and your very personal experience. An in-depth voice message exchange is offered by Katjalisa in order to clarify doubts, address open questions, re-align emotions and thoughts. If needed/wanted you can book a private follow up session with Katjalisa to deepen your practice or be put in touch with certified trauma therapists and sexological bodyworkers from the network we closely collaborate with.


Growing slowly and organically matters to us in order to maintain the care and integrity that we want to embody through our practices. With the growing success of the Slow Sex Experience we hold ourselves even more accountable for walking our talk of promoting pioneering sexual education and providing healing intimacy within our community. We invite you to share with us, with respect and compassion, your RADICAL HONEST FEEDBACK at any time. Whether you are a participant or a facilitator yourself, a trauma therapist or working in the field of somatic sex education or any other related field: PLEASE SPEAK TO US! By daring to speak up you support us to critically reflect upon the practices we create, the vibe we generate and the tone we set. We believe that if we as facilitators and experts unite from different institutions, schools, communities and lineages, we can contribute to a more sane and inclusive culture of relating and collectively create awareness about abusive power dynamics, spiritual bypassing, manipulation and discrimination in sex positive spaces. The Slow Sex Experience is in constant development, committed to fine tuning and to working out

"Even a wounded world is feeding us. Even a wounded world holds us, giving us moments of wonder and joy. I choose joy over despair. Not because I have my head in the sand, but because joy is what the earth gives me daily and I must return the gift."

Robin Wall Kimmerer

Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants