Do you want to know what attracts me most about people?
When they are ‘doing their thing’, when they are comfortable within their body, when they move with ease and beyond their limitations while smiling at life.”
The other day, I had one of the most inspiring encounters ever.
It was with a man my age that has been in a wheelchair since he’s been 17.
Meeting him puts everything in a new perspective ~ about my own body, my own struggles, my desires and at the same time about my willingness to fully taste life.
He moves with such ease and comfort within the discomfort that in the first moment I don’t notice his deformed hands, nor the wobbly belly in the middle of his body or the two skinny legs. “Before the accident”, he starts talking “my body was super trained. I was a good looking teenager. I enjoyed flirting and the girls looked after me.” Being 17 is already difficult enough. But being 17 and being tight to the wheelchair from one day to the other for the rest of your life is beyond anyone’s imagination.
I am curious. “How did you manage to become so self confident and so comfortable within your body?” With sparks in his eyes he replied: “My rugby boys. They literally saved me. Seeing them leading a satisfied and happy life even with their handicap inspired me and gave me hope. They have wives they love, some even have children, they have jobs that give them satisfaction. They fight for what they want ~ living a fulfilled life that is not limited by their limitations.”
My SEXplorer gets extremely curious and has a million questions:
“How do you live your sexuality? Does your penis ‘work’? Can you masturbate? How do you pleasure a woman?”
He answers all my questions without any shame or weirdness. The contrary. With a cheeky smile on his face and with the same ease that he has when he moves through space, he openly shares about his desire and longings.
“I can get an erection but keeping it is challenging. I hardly ejaculate. In theory I could masturbate” he says and moves his hand playfully up and down the glass. We had a good laugh. “But the truth is, it simply does not interest me so much anymore. What excites me is to connect truly from the heart, to move slowly so that my body can feel all the nuances and details of the touch. I love kissing and I enjoy finding creative ways on how to pleasure the woman.” He looks at me with a twinkle in his eyes.
I AM ON. Excited and enthusiastic like a little girl I tell him about the Slow Sex Experience and my mind goes bananas with all the possibilities that I see arising from our encounter. For a while already I’ve wanted to expand my spectrum and my skill set. I really think that there would be so much meaningful learning, empowering beauty and nourishing depth for everyone if we could include people with a physical limitation to our experiences.
I’m excited to first (SEX)explore myself and then see what and how I can bring it to the community!
I’ll keep you in the loop…