hack your script,
update the story
You cannot change what you cannot see.
- Francine Oomen
Slow Sex Community Experience
off the grid, in Southern Portugal
19th - 29th October 2023
Sliding scale pricing
Make a one time deposit of €850
Then contribute after the experience any amount between €650 - €1,650
Tune into what's moving inside of you...
The 10 day Community Experience is a PIONEERING LABORATORY inviting you to get in touch with yourself, others and nature in a way that will transform all your relations.
Within an intimate group of max 20 participants, we will make connections with the most hidden (and most obvious) parts of ourselves. Inspired by the Voice Dialogue method, developed by Hal and Sidra Stone in the seventies, we will explore our conditioned (lovemaking) script and move beyond it.
In a playful and accessible way, we will reconstruct who we think we are by getting to know our 'Inner Community'. We will learn to understand who is present when we relate (who is driving the bus/ who is in charge/ who is making the choices) and uncover survival strategies and coping mechanisms that we've created along the way to protect the vulnerable child we once were, and who is still present inside of us.
Our wish is to meet every part of YOU. Not only the socially adapted parts you are used to showing in your daily life. Also the parts of you that are hidden, disowned and locked away. Especially those, because they are key to a fully lived satisfied and joyful life.
The VD practice is all about giving the disowned parts (shadows) within ourselves a voice. Allowing them to express themselves and including them, instead of pushing them away, enables you to hack your script and change your narrative, to relate authentically to yourself and others and to experience a sense of intrinsic safety and belonging.
It’s about guiding your disowned parts home. Once you learn the VD and start applying it to your daily life, you will be less and less dependent on the outside world for validation, and fulfillment of your needs. There will be less and less false expectations, projection and blaming.
It will be a life changing tool for your toolbox.
The focus of this Community Experience will be on intimate relating, sexuality, ecology and community building.
The first part will be a SELF PACED ONLINE PROGRAM. Approximate time investment will be around 20 hours depending on how deep you want to dive into it.
You will be provided with a series of online resources that will give you comprehensible and illustrated background information about trauma, psycho education & an introduction to inner voice dialogue journaling (a method developed by Francine, inspired by Voice Dialogue).
The online program includes:
- hand made illustrations by Francine Oomen
- advised reading, listening and viewing list
- Telegram group communication
Our wish is to meet every part of YOU.
Not only the socially adapted parts you are used to showing in your daily life.
Also the parts of you that are hidden, disowned and locked away.
Preconditions to join
the Community Experience
Preferably you have attended at least one in person event with Katjalisa or Sophie, you are familiar with non violent communication and you practise mindfulness in your every day life.
Practicing Slow Sex I’ve learned to more deeply listen to the wisdom of body. My body knows: do I feel sexy or tender? What is the connection with someone else? Is it sensual or intimate or sexual? Or all in one? And knowing and feeling that, what do I really want (or not want) if I am honest?
Sharing a slow sex space with others helps me to fine tune my senses. As we explore together, I discover something new with each encounter. Sometimes it’s amazing, sometimes it's confronting, but always revealing of where I am in my journey to live my sexuality and life power with integrity and from a place of love.
Katjalisa creates spaces for these explorations to unfold in a safe and yet daring way. She diffuses shame and guilt so participants can genuinely connect to what sexuality really is: the beautiful source of life. She encourages and enables us to go deeper, yet teaches the skills to hone our inner knowing: what is my boundary right now right here with this person?
Through multiple workshops I feel enriched and empowered. I own my sensuality and sexuality in a new way. I honor my inner yes and no. I have language to share what I like. I (more and more) dare to ask for it. And all while keeping my pants on.
- Gerard Breekman
Katjalisa is a masterful guide who aided me on my path of exploring the depths of my sexuality. Depths I always deep down knew were there, but that lied waiting under the surface to be explored and touched.
Through a yoni course and the Slow Sex evenings, it feels like a space within me has widened. To dare, to heal and nurture my own sexual energy. And with that, a transformative power has arisen that is influencing many aspects of my life. In the yoni course, Katjalisa created a safe and playful environment for a group of women to become yoni sisters. And share their feelings and thoughts around everything that is connected to this powerful, but often neglected, organ and energy source.
In the Slow Sex workshops, physical practice is key. To bodily experience, and through that, to understand and know: what you want, what you need, and what not. Sometimes lighthearted, sometimes deeply emotional. But always a continuous practice. And with a few of these workshops I feel I have learned more about my sensuality, desires and sexual energy than in a long time before. Katjalisa is a playful, strong, completely honest and inspirational medicine woman, whose antidote for today’s fastness is SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. And the result is truly divine.
- Barbara Bloom
of the experience
We will spend 10 days together as a community at Vinha Velha, an off the grid farm at the Algarve in PORTUGAL where we put into practice what we've learned in the previous weeks in theory and explore new ways of relating to ourselves and thereby to each other.
We will start the day every other morning with a guided MORNING PRACTICE.
This morning practice can be
- Silent walking
The biggest part of our experience will be mainly dedicated to our Inner Community Practices which consists of:
- INNER VOICE FORUM. An edgy, challenging, highly liberating systemic group practice under guidance of Francine & Katjalisa.
You are being invited to step into the middle of the circle, state the topic/situation you want to work with and then embody your inner voices while the group is holding space for your process. The idea is not to act or to perform but merely to be the vessel for your voices to be able to speak/ to show themselves. It sounds super strange if you have not experienced it before but trust us ~ the magic happens when you step into the middle and you tap into your own energetic field. Due to the resonance within the collective field, we are able to feel/ empathize with each other. We learn as much in the middle as we learn outside in the circle.
- HEART SHARING CIRCLE. Everyone gets a moment to share from the heart what is alive, what is present, what is moving inside. That can be about a meaningful moment such as a challenging trigger, an inspiring insight, a thought, a reflection etc. While one shares, the others listen with full presence. There will be no analysis or commenting on the individual share. The facilitators will only interrupt in case of violence within the communication, especially if directed towards another participant (or towards a self)
- CONFLICT RESOLUTION. An effective and touching way to address and to solve conflict within a group process. The space in the middle of the circle will be open for one or more people to invite one or more people into the space. Under the guidance of the facilitators, embedded by the collective, you are invited to share openly and transparently about a conflicting/ troubling emotion or a trigger causing unease, discomfort, unsafety, mistrust within yourself and therefore within the group.
Another important part will be the SISTER~and BROTHERHOOD WORK. The time spent apart, women amongst women and men amongst men, will serve us to create a positive connection with our body, to overcome shame, jealousy and competition, to (re)establish connection and trust and to heal wounds around sister~and brotherhood.
The ECO INTERVENTION with our nature expert Mattie is also a crucial part of our experience. While putting our hands into the soil and working on the land, we will be provided with valuable insights about how the natural ecosystem works, what we can do to help nature to restore and what we can learn from nature so we can heal our relationships. A beautiful way to connect with your own nature by connecting with mother nature.
And… EROTIC ECOLOGY by Mattie & Sophie. In these sessions we will make love with and to the elements while being surrounded by mother nature and father sky. This is gonna be muddy and dirty, juicy, fresh & wet, nourishing and fun…
The remaining time can be either used for integration to be spent by yourself following your own needs or you can join the provided activities by experts from the area that will share their medicine with us. Such as:
- Playfight with Matteo
- Singing Choir with Juju
- Ecstatic dance with TikTek
- Acro Yoga with Katjalisa
- Arts & Craft with Francine
Please note that the free time program might slightly change, depending on the group dynamics and the availability of the experts.
The 3 SLOW SEX EXPERIENCES & LOVE JAMS in the evening facilitated by Katjalisa is where the magic and the healing happens but also where old wounds or even traumas can be triggered. Sexuality and intimacy are the arenas in which we are inclined to follow our basic assumptions about ourselves and the other (script).
For example, if the basic assumption about yourself is 'I'm not worthy' you will most likely have difficulties expressing your boundaries and speaking out your desires (flight or freeze mode).
In the Slow Sex Experience we explore the healing power of intimacy and how we can create a sexuality beyond our original script. You will learn how to
- be present while relating
- work with your breath
- tap into the world of energetic body work
- practice boundaries inspired by the wheel of consent
- be radical honest to yourself and to your (practice) partner
- communicate your needs and desires in a nonviolent way
- access your full body yes and no
- build trust
More COOL STUFF happening in the evening
- Sound healing with Karla
- Sensory dinner with Nina
- Kirtan with Momo & the Bhaktis
- Sunset Breathwork at the coast
CHERRY ON TOP: parts of the community experience in Portugal will be accompanied by the healing sound of Karla. She is a certified music therapist based in Amsterdam and has supported our events numerous times. We work complementary and in absolute ease with one another. She always has the right sound or song for the right moment. It’s magical to co~create with her!
Katjalisa studied Anthropology in Amsterdam and has done in depth research in the Red Light District for almost a decade about 'sex as a good of consumption'. She was the first one to introduce the concept of the Slow Sex in the RLD.
She is trained in somatic work, bioenergetics, yoni massage, yoga, meditation, mindfulness and non-violent communication. She is trauma informed and has many years of experience in creating spaces in which everyone feels seen, loved and respected.
Her way of working is edgy and yet very accessible. She playfully gets people out of their comfort zone and invites them to open up to new experiences. Her authenticity is contagious and her power empowers others. She will be the main facilitator of the Community Experience.
Francine Oomen, originally an industrial designer, is an award-winning writer and illustrator, best known for the How Do I Survive... series.
She recently published two autobiographical graphic novels for adults in which her inner company plays the lead role.
One book is about the transformative process of the menopause, the other about intergenerational trauma.
Her toolbox includes training in Voice dialogue and family constellations, two healing hands, a sharp nose and intuition, her drawing tools and her creativity.
Francine will accompany the Community Experience in special moments as trauma expert and healer to deepen and to support the group process.
Mattie is an idealist at heart and founder of Restore Nature Foundation that aims to bring back forests to the degraded lands of Portugal. He is firmly rooted in nature’s regeneration through methods of Syntropic Farming, Permaculture and Biodynamic agriculture.
Through men’s circles, embodiment practices, breathwork, exciting workshops in nature exploring sexuality in ecology, and of course, regenerative action in the forest he guides groups into deeper layers of themselves and their surroundings. He brings presence, groundedness and a sensitivity for the energy of the group, while interweaving core topics in his life of (deep) ecology, healthy sexuality and spirituality as expressive forms of life energy. During the Community Experience, Mattie will host one erotic ecology session, the eco intervention workshop as well as as the work around brotherhood. He will also offer one on one emotional support.
TOUCH & MASSAGE
Sophie is trained as a conscious therapist in energetic healing (Reiki, Dharma Shamanic Healing), bodywork, voice & sound healing, yoga and pranayama and is now diving deeper into the Temple Arts and sexual bodywork. The art of subtle touch through which she guides people back to feeling is her medicine to the world.
With her years of experience in these realms, and natural ability to connect people, she now passionately brings people together and expand the Slow Sex community. With her depth, playfulness and joy, she loves creating spaces for people to explore true intimacy. Sophie will host one erotic ecology session and will be available for one on one emotional support, private intimacy journeys and healing sessions during the Community Experience.
Karla is a certified music therapist, singer-songwriter & sound healer with a strong voice and vision. Her work is intuitive and focuses on helping people find their authentic inner voice and connecting with themselves and others through music.
'Sound Of Kala' is the manifestation of her vision to support people on their own path & share her voice with the world. She has been facilitating different events in Switzerland, Bhutan and the Netherlands over the last years and has supported the last Slow Sex Community Experience in October/ November 2022 with her healing vibes. Her sound can best be described as a dreamy mix of vulnerability, playful tunes and soul whispers.
Nina is originally a chef, recipe developer and food editor. She will explore how to concoct Slow Sex and slow food: fueling inner and outer connections through making life more sensual. She has done a lot of in person research about alternative ways of living, including community life, regenerative living and relating. She will help to run the Community Experience smoothly and be your first online contact person.
“2022 was my year of traveling, learning and growing. I went to Greece and Portugal seeking alternative ways of living including community life, regenerative living and relating. I visited several communities, worked in gardens and took part in workshops including natural building, contact improv dance and forum workshop at Tamera. The climax of my educational trip was the 21 day - Slow Sex Community Experience with Katjalisa and Sophie. I felt connected to myself and others in a way I never experienced before. I am truly impressed by the power of the forum and inner work building a level of trust in a relatively short period of time that made me want to be part of the movement, spreading the vibe.”
BUILDING A STRONG COMMUNITY
REQUIRES A STRONG COMMUNITY
10 day community experience
Make a one time deposit of €850
Then contribute after the experience any amount between €650 - €1,650
For payment in monthly installments please contact us.
PLEASE FILL OUT THE FORM BELOW TO BE CONSIDERED FOR THE 10 DAY EXPERIENCE. WE WILL RESPOND WITHIN 48 HOURS TO SET UP A 15MIN CALL WITH US.
INCLUDED IN THE PRICE:
- Online preparation (psycho ~ and trauma education)
- Online after care (HomePlays, group check in calls)
- Shared accommodation at Vinha Velha (private accommodation on request for a higher price)
- Shared organic lunch provided by the Vinha Velha café as well as dinner on arrival day
- Transportation from Barao de Sao Joao (or from Lagos if we can combine trips) to Vinha Velha
- All group activities
- Personal emotional support
- Transportation from the airport to Lagos
- Breakfast and dinner
- Individual therapy sessions